Friday, September 10, 2010

Mobile Post:
one of my oldest friends just got engaged. This girl will not be the "fat friend" at the wedding! The tredmill awaits me!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Random Rant #1

 Somehow "aspiring writer" has translated to "ready and eager personal assistant" to some.  Just because I like to write, doesn't mean I revel in typing or doing your errands.  I have been on the receiving end of at least five different offers by random people to "do some work for them".  Oh, Can I? Please? (there really should be punctuation to indicate sarcasm).  STOP ASKING ME!

  Maybe you pity me because you think I have no talent but please stop sending me these offers, folks!!

  And one more thing: Is there anyone left on the planet who doesn't know that an email that starts with "I'm currently out of the country but I pay through my off-shore account" is a hoax?? Time to go back to the drawing board, scammers.

You might ask, "What does this have to do with getting fit, eating healthy, etc?"  Well, it's frustrating experiences like this that make me want to throw open the panty door and go to town.  If I write them down, I'm hoping to diffuse the resentment and bitterness without resorting to eating my feelings. So far, so good. 

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I just Google searched this blog.  I'm on the top of page 2!!!! Woo - hoo!!! Small victory!!! I feel like the Whos in Whoville who have finally been heard!. A blog is a blog, no matter how small!!

a double shot of confidence with a positive energy chaser

Week 9 Trainer: Bryan Sullivan
Location: Rapid Fitness Glenwood
Sessions: 3 (W/TH/F)

   First thing's first: I'm behind in posting.  The events in this post actually took place August 25th - August 27th.  I really have no excuse for why I'm so behind but basically: I got cocky.  "I've done about 50 blog entries, I can do this in no time! I got this! King Kong ain't got nothin on me!!"  I thought that I was advanced enough in my writing to be able to whip up a clever entry in no time, so I put it off thinking I would just "whip it up" tomorrow.  If procrastination was a legitimate talent in the pageant circuit, I would definitely have a few crowns on my mantle by now. And before I knew it an entire week had passed.  Oops, my bad.

   The weekend after my experience with Trainer X (See:, I rebelled.  I ate some of the foods that I had resisted for weeks. Psychologically, I believe that I was trying to swallow my feelings of disappointment and failure.  Failure doesn't taste that bad when eaten with Junior Mints, a doughnut and some pizza.  My confidence was on life support and I felt defeated.  I didn't really realize that my psyche had all the fragility of a Faberge egg until the weekend after I finished my training week with X.  I'm not saying it's all X's fault, but it was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back I think. I'm still, after all,trying to recover from my personal life being turned upside down.  Add to this the fact that the day before my first session with Bryan, I battled the tredmill and lost like Rocky against Apollo Creed (in the first Rocky).  I thought by now I'd be able to run like the bad guy Terminator in Terminator 2.  Ummm. . . . negative. Not to say I haven't improved, but I'm not where I thought I'd be by now. I could feel myself being tempted to go to "the Dark Side" ( aka Dunkin Donuts) and reverting back to bad habits.  If ever there was a week that I needed a double shot of confidence with a positive energy chaser, this was it.  Enter Brian Sullivan.

   I first met Bryan when I started working at Rapid Fitness.  He was working at the front desk studying to become a personal trainer.  That was five months ago.  What were you doing five months ago? Me? I was stuffing my face with Oreos and Cheese-Its, watching "You're Not the Father!" episodes of Maury Povich (aka - every freaking episode), while dreaming about ways that I could change my life but not actually doing a thing about it aside from buying Mega Millions tickets.   Before we even started training, Bryan had already taught me something very important.  He studied hard and kept his eyes on the prize and in five months, he changed/ improved his life. He proved that it doesn't necessarily take years or decades  to change your life for the better.  All the time and energy spent wishing for change could have been spent actually pursuing change.  I could already be at my destination vs. at the starting line!

   I've never seen Bryan in a bad mood.  Even when he was working the overnight front desk shift (midnight - 5 am, I think) a few months ago, he always had a smile on his face and would ALWAYS make time for his own workout somewhere between late nights at work, his personal training course and sleep. In fact, he put himself through a workout regimen while attending this course that resulted in him dropping two pant sizes.  Overachiever much?  How far can a positive attitude take you? I don't have a freakin clue, but ask Bryan.
He'd know.

   It makes sense that Fate wanted me to train with Bryan this week.  Who better to train with when you're feeling like an underachiever than with an overachiever?

   Bryan texted me long before our first session and asked me about my fitness goals and what I wanted out of the sessions.  Thanks to my losing battle with the tredmill, I have added another goal onto my list aside from fitting back into my jeans and abs of steel -  I want to run a 5k in the next three months (You read it here folks! I really want to run a 5k without embarrassing myself).

  By the time I arrived for my first session, Bryan greeted me with a printed out worksheet that he created specifically for me to achieve my goals.  If you're wondering - Yes, I already lost them. One of these days, I'm going to shock everyone with my organization and preparedness. One day this grasshopper will be an ant!  Buuut. . . . not today.   He broke my 3 sessions down to work the following: Day 1 - Stabilization/ Endurance. Day 2 - Strength/ Endurance.  Day 3: Power/ Maximum Strength.  Basically, a ton of core work and a ton of exercises that had me completely out of breath in about 10 seconds.

  We started small and worked our way up to powerful, complex moves.  Slowly, but surely I started getting my confidence back.  I didn't have to say "I can't" once.  In fact, guess who has two thumbs, worked with the medicine ball but didn't hit herself in the face once:  THIS GIRL! Guess who did 20 regular (not girlie) push-ups (a first): THIS GIRL.  Guess who did . . . eh you get the idea.  If Confidence down = Output down then Confidence up = ______?

  In Bryan I see the attitude that I should have not just for this fitness thing but in all aspects of my life.  I see that hard work DOES eventually pay off.  I see that if you care about something (like he cares about training) you put everything you have into it.  And I see that a positive attitude is perhaps the MOST important component to staying on track with this plan.

Every thought is a seed.  If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious.  ~Bill Meyer

    I'm not where I thought I would be by now by a long shot.  BUT. . . I'm a lot further than I would've been if I had stayed watching Maury give paternity results and eating Cheese-its.  That's for sure.



Sunday, August 29, 2010

Mobile Post:
Couch = 1. Kai = 0. Can I hire someone just 2 pull me from bed 2 car?
2.5 hours til the gym closes. Can I get up and go? Good question

An Ode To BBQ Sauce

An Ode To BBQ Sauce ~ by Kai Zander

Oh Barbecue!
Oh Barbecue!
It is quite impossible
to live without you

I do not like salt
I can live without pepper
All I need is you
To make things taste better!

Diets don't like you
because of your sugar and carbs
but I really don't care
how bad for me you are

I've cut out the bread
and pasta and wheat
but life without you
is an impossible feat

If the "real world" doesn't have you
I'll live happily in the Matrix
Sorry Neo! Sorry Morpheus!
I'm an addict who needs A fix! (enunciate the "A" so it rhymes)
And sorry your daughter is such a skank, Morpheus. But I digress....

I love you Barbecue!
And not that clear, vinegar sh*t
I hope I never have to choose
between you and being fit.

The End

So if it wasn't clear from the previous six stanzas,  I love barbecue sauce.  Even when I cut out sugar and high fructose corn syrup everywhere else, I was still getting my bbq fix.  Dr. Josh says it wasn't that bad considering I was putting it on before I was grilling and some of the sugar was lost in the grilling process.

But a life without bbq sauce is just not one I'm willing to live in.  I try to make modifications sometimes.  These are some sauces use natural ingredients - no preservatives.  Which means: No high-fructose corn syrup.  But I admit it: If the healthier options aren't in the store, I'm going for the sugary stuff.

1. Bone Suckin' Sauce: A+!!! Yummy!!!! Perfect for pretty much anything.  Not too tomato-y.  Not too smokey. It comes in a mason jar and is available at stores like Whole Foods and Fresh Market. The company is a North Carolina owned company. Also, I think I went to the same high school as the owner. Reason #537 not to be a bitch in high school: I could have an endless supply of free bbq sauce by now.  Curses.

2. Walden Farms: I've only tried the Honey BBQ kind. Zero Carbs and Zero Calories  = zero guilt.  Its not my favorite ever, but it's still good.

3. Annie's Naturals:  Haven't had this one in a long time.  It's kind of pricey but  the Smokey Maple is yum!

And by the way, THIS post is what happens when there's nothing on TV and I don't have anything to read during dinner: I create poems about my food.