An Ode To BBQ Sauce

An Ode To BBQ Sauce ~ by Kai Zander

Oh Barbecue!

Oh Barbecue!

It is quite impossible

to live without you

I do not like salt

I can live without pepper

All I need is you

To make things taste better!

Diets don't like you

because of your sugar and carbs

but I really don't care

how bad for me you are

I've cut out the bread

and pasta and wheat

but life without you

is an impossible feat

If the "real world" doesn't have you

I'll live happily in the Matrix

Sorry Neo! Sorry Morpheus!

I'm an addict who needs A fix! (enunciate the "A" so it rhymes)

And sorry your daughter is such a skank, Morpheus. But I digress....

I love you Barbecue!

And not that clear, vinegar sh*t

I hope I never have to choose

between you and being fit.

The End

So if it wasn't clear from the previous six stanzas,  I love barbecue sauce.  Even when I cut out sugar and high fructose corn syrup everywhere else, I was still getting my bbq fix.  Dr. Josh says it wasn't that bad considering I was putting it on before I was grilling and some of the sugar was lost in the grilling process.

But a life without bbq sauce is just not one I'm willing to live in.  I try to make modifications sometimes.  These are some sauces use natural ingredients - no preservatives.  Which means: No high-fructose corn syrup.  But I admit it: If the healthier options aren't in the store, I'm going for the sugary stuff.

1. Bone Suckin' Sauce: A+!!! Yummy!!!! Perfect for pretty much anything.  Not too tomato-y.  Not too smokey. It comes in a mason jar and is available at stores like Whole Foods and Fresh Market. The company is a North Carolina owned company. Also, I think I went to the same high school as the owner. Reason #537 not to be a bitch in high school: I could have an endless supply of free bbq sauce by now.  Curses.
www.bonesuckin.com

2. Walden Farms: I've only tried the Honey BBQ kind. Zero Carbs and Zero Calories  = zero guilt.  Its not my favorite ever, but it's still good.  www.waldenfarms.com

3. Annie's Naturals:  Haven't had this one in a long time.  It's kind of pricey but  the Smokey Maple is yum! www.anniesnaturals.com


And by the way, THIS post is what happens when there's nothing on TV and I don't have anything to read during dinner: I create poems about my food.