Trainer: Name Withheld (known as Trainer X for this entry)
Week 8 turned out to be one of the most valuable lessons I've learned since I began this fitness journey. There is strength that is the opposite of weak, and there is strength that is the opposite of meek. Week 8 tested the latter.
Before meeting Trainer X, I was very excited. X has a great reputation with his other clients and I was kind of giddy at the idea of being trained by him.
After a quick introduction where X asked me my long term goals (skinny jeans, skinny jeans, skinny jeans) he placed some heavy barbells in my hands. Usually, the first 5 repetitions of any exercise are tolerable, 6-10 are hard, 10-12 make me want to cry, 12-15 make me want lay down and die. With X, repetition #2 was beyond painful. It was at this point, I got scared.
I pushed harder than I've ever pushed before and made it through 3 sets of THIRTY repetitions. My arms felt like they were going to fall off. I looked at the clock . . . . seven minutes into session. Twenty-three minutes left. Crap.
I like being pushed. That, after all, is why I'm seeing the trainers in the first place. BUT - there's a fine line between pushing someone to get them to work and pushing them to the point where someone could get hurt. For me, this was quickly turning into an experience where I could get hurt. Maybe something was getting lost in translation, but I had hoped my facial expressions and body language was enough to tell him, "Dude, I'm going to break in half!". Apparently not.
In my first session, I was the good soldier, and did every exercise that I was told to do. My arms were on fire, tears were streaming down my face, I was lifting more weight that I had ever done. I didn't think I could keep up the pace for three more sessions. I didn't question, I didn't speak up.
Session two, I completely chickened out. I couldn't do it. It was too emotionally exhausting. Here I thought I had made all of this progress, but in this situation, I felt back to square one. I felt like a loser, a failure. My body would not allow me to do all of the exercises X wanted me to do. The feeling of defeat was weighing heavy on me and I just couldn't bring myself to go to my session. And so, for the very first time. . . . I canceled.
On my day off I thought about what my problem was. I had PLENTY of trainers who had pushed me to the limit, why was this so different? The best answer I can give you is this: It just was. To be absolutely honest, I didn't really feel like my best interest/ fitness level was taken into consideration. If the week was going to get better, I needed to speak up. And here we have the problem!
I. Hate. Confrontation.
I totally chicken out. Now, I am perfectly capable of getting my point across through letters and emails. In fact, if you are ever on the receiving end of one of my "Strongly Worded Emails" . . . look out! It is like a letter version of a Claire Huxtable/ Julia Sugarbaker tongue lashing. In letters, I can say exactly what I want in a tone that would have the reader think that I am a force to be reckoned with. In person. . . . Not. so. much. But if I was going to get the most out of my next session, I needed to speak up.The next day, I quickly had my chance to speak up. Ten minutes into the session and X wants me to do an exercise that requires me to step up on a platform using only one leg. Sounds do-able, right? I've done that exercise before with a few other trainers. HOWEVER, X wanted me to step up on a platform that was so high, my knee was in my armpit. After one try at it, I quickly realized that my knee was not going to hold up fourteen more times.
"I can't." I had raised my white flag. I hated saying it, but I knew I
"Yes you can! Go! Do it!" said X.
"No. I can't." Tears were streaming down my face. I WANT to be able to do everything that's thrown at me. I WANT to be this workout warrior with a body that could rival any Shape magazine fitness model. But, I can't ignore what my body tells me, and this time - it was telling me, "Nope. Don't even try it, girlfriend" (my body has obviously been watching too many episodes of Living Single)
I had to say "I can't" a few more times in that session and X told me that if I trained with him for SIX months, I'd be able to perform these seemingly impossible tasks with ease (Wait . . . were these sessions a hustle? Were they being made too hard on purpose? Was I getting hustled?)
I made it through the session but ONCE again. My mind was swimming. WWCHS (What Would Claire Huxtable Say?)?? She would probably sternly (NOT RUDELY!!!! I DO NOT ADVOCATE BEING RUDE TO ANYONE WHO IS PROVIDING YOU WITH A SERVICE. I WORKED IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY FOR TOO LONG TO EVEN CONCEIVE OF DOING THAT) tell X that he needed to change the workout for something more appropriate for her. I opened my mouth for something to come out . . . nothin'. Clearly I have a lot of work to do to combat my meekness. Wonder what sort of exercises I can do for that?
For me, X's style didn't work well with my physical fitness level or personality. I was reminded of a time when I lived in New York and went to this shi-shi salon that had pictures of celebrities lining the walls. I handed the man $1000 (not a typo) and he in turn . . . . gave me the crappiest hair-do I've ever had in my lifetime. Just because the celebrities were lining up to sit in his chair, doesn't mean that it was automatically the best thing for me. This experience was the same. Just because X had a ton of followers and fans, doesn't mean that he was automatically the best trainer for me. But in both situations, I wonder what would have happened if I had been more direct - if I had been more assertive (No sir, I do not want bangs as short as my pinky nail!). People aren't mind readers. BUT, I also don't want such a struggle to get what I want every time I go to the salon, gym, etc. Different strokes for Different folks.
I have to listen to what my body is telling me. I can't go by what's working for other people. Remember: If you don't speak up for yourself, who will?
To thine own self be true -that Polonius guy from Hamlet.
I may not be up on my Shakespeare quotes,
but I am DEFINITELY up on my Clueless quotes.
If something doesn't feel right: ask if you can do something different. If it still doesn't feel right, remember "No" is not a dirty word.
Having an experience like this, really made me appreciate the trainers that meshed with my personality all the more . . . .same thing with hairstylists. Shout out to Teresa in LA! Haa-aaay! (No more Living Single reruns for me!)
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