Location: North Ridge Rapid Fitness
Sessions: 4 (T/W/Th/F)
This is my trainer for week 7:
No, this is not a picture of him standing, holding a bar that I posted sideways. He is actually holding up his entire body up (despite my poor picture taking techniques, you can still see his feet aren't touching anything) in mid-air like a freaking HUMAN FLAG!!!! (And it's not Photoshop either! I can barely figure out how to POST pictures, let alone alter them) In person, it is very Matrix-y looking and is absolutely one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
Unlike my sessions with other trainers, I gave John some direction with what I wanted to accomplish in our sessions: I want to do exercises that will help me do the human flag. Just to kill the suspense right here and now I'll tell you . . . THIS POST DOES NOT END WITH ME ROCKING OUT THE HUMAN FLAG LIKE A NINJA!! Um, try leaning sideways and lifting ONE leg! Go ahead! I'll wait! . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hard, right? I'm not completely lacking in common sense. Although, anyone who knew me as a 24-year-old, may argue that point with complete validation. I am perfectly aware that a feat like that was not just improbable but IMPOSSIBLE in four days. BUT (I'm mighty fond of the caps today for some reason), I wanted to do exercises that one would do IF one wanted to learn how to do the human flag. Because it is ALLLLLL core! If your core is strong enough for that move, then you are a badass . . . . or Spiderman.
My first session with John started with an exercise involving a medicine ball and a wall. I quietly prayed to develop hand/ eye in a matter of seconds. But I'm sure we can all guess what happened. 3....2....1.... Oh, my nose!! Yup, first rep of the first set and I bonked myself in the nose with a 6 lb medicine ball. I may or may not have used this as an opportunity to: 1) Do a pretty solid impression of Marsha Brady 2) Get John to take it easy on me the rest of the session. Um yeah, he's former Navy, so somehow my rubber ball to the nose did not evoke much sympathy (or appreciation for my Marsha Brady impression).
Oh yeah, I should mention that in my first session he made me do 90 dead lifts!!!!!! NINETY!!! NOVENTA! QUATRE-VINGT NIX! NEUNZIG! I thought the "dead" in dead lifts was just for show. Nope. It's literally how you feel the next day.
John's ab workout should be put on video. I have NEVER seen an ab workout this hard in my life. One of the exercises he had me do, I could only do 5 and the burn was so intense I had to stop for a breather. I thought of the time when I read that (pre-shaved head, pre-K-Fed) Britney Spears did 500 sit-ups a day. 500 sit-ups seems like a walk in the park compared to 3 minutes of John's ab workout. As much as I complained though (it's kind of my thing if you haven't noticed), I'm going to try to do parts of his ab workout every day. I've wanted rock hard abs since I was 16. I've gotten close but something (*cough* Dunkin Donuts *cough* *cough*) usually makes it go back to its Jello-y state. I'm pretty sure if I do John's ab workout every day for the next four weeks, my abs are going to be very steel-like. In fact, I may just turn into one of those morons who goes around asking people to punch them in the stomach. And if you knew me at age 24 . . . . you might just want to.
Like I said, I did not magically learn how to do the human flag in four days. But I'll let Bruce Lee explain why I needed/wanted to focus on it:
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
- Bruce Lee
Ask me about the human flag in a couple months. If I can do it, I think I've earned a salute.
No comments:
Post a Comment