Happy Fitness Assessment Day!

So Brian, the head of Personal Training at Rapid Fitness, suggested that I start how every new member at the gym starts out: with a free fitness assessment by a personal trainer and a free consult with the onsite Health & Nutrition Director, Dr. Josh McMillion. Me likey free things! Count me in!!

Even though I technically work at the gym, I've never been clear on what exactly a fitness assessment entails. "Are we, like, only going to be chatting or am I actually going to have to, like, sweat?"  is what I want to ask, but I fear it might be a tad too Hilary Banks-ish for the occasion. 

Location: Glenwood Avenue Rapid Fitness  Time: 9am

Look again at that time folks. 9 a.m.  There are a few very important things you should know about me if you don't already.  1) My dog, James Bond, is not a pet - - he is my child. 2) I talk to my mother at least two times a day 3) Yours truly is not a morning person.  I don't have that many friends in LA that wake up before 11am and for the past five years 9 a.m. and I have been complete strangers. . So. . . long story long . . . 9 a.m. is a big deal for me.

Anywho . . . I walk into the massive building and immediately feel exactly how I did on my first day of high school: Like I was going to throw up or pass out.  Seriously, what was I thinking with this? Its been so long since I was on a tredmill, what if I throw up?? I KNOW these people!!!!! I can't just slip out anonymously,  they all know my name!! Just when I thought I could sprint out leaving only a trail of dust like Scooby Doo when he sees a zombie, I heard my name -  "KAI!!!!!" says Brian with a big smile, "ready to get started? I think you're really gonna like this!"  I can't help but look at him and wonder if my cheeks will ever allow me to smile that big before noon. Probably not.

He takes me to his office (YES! SITTING!!! NO SWEATING. . . .yet) and we chat about my goals and a realistic timetable about when I can expect some results (basically, you folks are going to be reading this blog for a WHILE).  I have to remind myself that this isn't a diet. . . this is a lifestyle change. Making mature decisions sucks sometimes, doesn't it?

After taking my measurements and getting weighed (I'm not ready to know the number yet so I sure ain't ready to post it for the world to see yet) we headed over to the tredmill so he could get an idea of what my fitness level was.  5 min. speed walking on the highest incline.  Ea-zeeee! I used to run for over an hour on 6.7 speed! I got this walking thing. Ummmmm. . . . no.  Let's just say that at the 1:42 mark, I started sweating and panting.  This.  Is.  Bad.  I pass the time by cursing Ronald McDonald, Grimace, the Hamburgler and the Fry Guys.  Somehow. . . this is their fault. At the point that the tredmill was turned off, my hands went up like I was Jamaican track star, Usain Bolt, crossing the finish line.  DONE!!! I'm Finished!!!! People staring. Arms down.  Face red.

Brian: Ok - Push-ups
Kai: What? I thought (pant, pant, pant) we (gasp for breath) I (AIR!!) huh?
Brian: Let's go . . . Let's get you where you want to be!
Kai:

Aaaannnd . . . . . scene!

The next 40 minutes were a blur of squats, push-ups, sit-ups, complaining (me) and encouraging (Brian)

and then we were done. I lived! I survived! Happy Fitness Assessment Day to ME!!!