Mobile Post:
Couch = 1. Kai = 0. Can I hire someone just 2 pull me from bed 2 car?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
An Ode To BBQ Sauce
An Ode To BBQ Sauce ~ by Kai Zander
Oh Barbecue!
Oh Barbecue!
It is quite impossible
to live without you
I do not like salt
I can live without pepper
All I need is you
To make things taste better!
Diets don't like you
because of your sugar and carbs
but I really don't care
how bad for me you are
I've cut out the bread
and pasta and wheat
but life without you
is an impossible feat
If the "real world" doesn't have you
I'll live happily in the Matrix
Sorry Neo! Sorry Morpheus!
I'm an addict who needs A fix! (enunciate the "A" so it rhymes)
And sorry your daughter is such a skank, Morpheus. But I digress....
I love you Barbecue!
And not that clear, vinegar sh*t
I hope I never have to choose
between you and being fit.
The End
But a life without bbq sauce is just not one I'm willing to live in. I try to make modifications sometimes. These are some sauces use natural ingredients - no preservatives. Which means: No high-fructose corn syrup. But I admit it: If the healthier options aren't in the store, I'm going for the sugary stuff.
1. Bone Suckin' Sauce: A+!!! Yummy!!!! Perfect for pretty much anything. Not too tomato-y. Not too smokey. It comes in a mason jar and is available at stores like Whole Foods and Fresh Market. The company is a North Carolina owned company. Also, I think I went to the same high school as the owner. Reason #537 not to be a bitch in high school: I could have an endless supply of free bbq sauce by now. Curses.
www.bonesuckin.com
2. Walden Farms: I've only tried the Honey BBQ kind. Zero Carbs and Zero Calories = zero guilt. Its not my favorite ever, but it's still good. www.waldenfarms.com
3. Annie's Naturals: Haven't had this one in a long time. It's kind of pricey but the Smokey Maple is yum! www.anniesnaturals.com
And by the way, THIS post is what happens when there's nothing on TV and I don't have anything to read during dinner: I create poems about my food.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
H.T. and Dolores
Meet H.T. and Dolores:
H.T. is 88-years-old and his wife, Dolores, is. . . . a couple years younger. Dolores is a real Southern lady. Real ladies never tell their real age. Did I mention I just turned 33??
These two come to the gym every day. Ev-e-ry day. They walk. They lift weights. They get on the bike. H.T. often brings in poems that are humorous reminders for everyone to "eat right and keep it tight so you too can see the next days light". Dolores asks us all how we are doing and compliments our accomplishments (no matter how small) like only a grandma can.
While some of my fitness "heroes" are the models in the pages of Shape, H.T. and Dolores are a pair of real fitness heroes. They are what fitness is really all about: Helping you lead a long and active life.
Whenever I find myself without energy and tell myself "I can't today", I try to think of H.T. and Dolores. Odds are, they've either already worked out or are getting ready to work out.
Workouts don't always have to be about lifting the most (Hear that Trainer X???) or running the fastest or the longest. The most important thing is that you do it, a little bit every day so you can see quite a few "next days' lights"
P.S. I think I'm going to write Shape magazine and ask them to make Betty White a cover model. Just to remind their readers what it's really all about.
H.T. is 88-years-old and his wife, Dolores, is. . . . a couple years younger. Dolores is a real Southern lady. Real ladies never tell their real age. Did I mention I just turned 33??
These two come to the gym every day. Ev-e-ry day. They walk. They lift weights. They get on the bike. H.T. often brings in poems that are humorous reminders for everyone to "eat right and keep it tight so you too can see the next days light". Dolores asks us all how we are doing and compliments our accomplishments (no matter how small) like only a grandma can.
While some of my fitness "heroes" are the models in the pages of Shape, H.T. and Dolores are a pair of real fitness heroes. They are what fitness is really all about: Helping you lead a long and active life.
Whenever I find myself without energy and tell myself "I can't today", I try to think of H.T. and Dolores. Odds are, they've either already worked out or are getting ready to work out.
Workouts don't always have to be about lifting the most (Hear that Trainer X???) or running the fastest or the longest. The most important thing is that you do it, a little bit every day so you can see quite a few "next days' lights"
P.S. I think I'm going to write Shape magazine and ask them to make Betty White a cover model. Just to remind their readers what it's really all about.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
To thine own self be true!!
Week 8 Summary
Trainer: Name Withheld (known as Trainer X for this entry)
Week 8 turned out to be one of the most valuable lessons I've learned since I began this fitness journey. There is strength that is the opposite of weak, and there is strength that is the opposite of meek. Week 8 tested the latter.
Before meeting Trainer X, I was very excited. X has a great reputation with his other clients and I was kind of giddy at the idea of being trained by him.
After a quick introduction where X asked me my long term goals (skinny jeans, skinny jeans, skinny jeans) he placed some heavy barbells in my hands. Usually, the first 5 repetitions of any exercise are tolerable, 6-10 are hard, 10-12 make me want to cry, 12-15 make me want lay down and die. With X, repetition #2 was beyond painful. It was at this point, I got scared.
I pushed harder than I've ever pushed before and made it through 3 sets of THIRTY repetitions. My arms felt like they were going to fall off. I looked at the clock . . . . seven minutes into session. Twenty-three minutes left. Crap.
I like being pushed. That, after all, is why I'm seeing the trainers in the first place. BUT - there's a fine line between pushing someone to get them to work and pushing them to the point where someone could get hurt. For me, this was quickly turning into an experience where I could get hurt. Maybe something was getting lost in translation, but I had hoped my facial expressions and body language was enough to tell him, "Dude, I'm going to break in half!". Apparently not.
In my first session, I was the good soldier, and did every exercise that I was told to do. My arms were on fire, tears were streaming down my face, I was lifting more weight that I had ever done. I didn't think I could keep up the pace for three more sessions. I didn't question, I didn't speak up.
Session two, I completely chickened out. I couldn't do it. It was too emotionally exhausting. Here I thought I had made all of this progress, but in this situation, I felt back to square one. I felt like a loser, a failure. My body would not allow me to do all of the exercises X wanted me to do. The feeling of defeat was weighing heavy on me and I just couldn't bring myself to go to my session. And so, for the very first time. . . . I canceled.
On my day off I thought about what my problem was. I had PLENTY of trainers who had pushed me to the limit, why was this so different? The best answer I can give you is this: It just was. To be absolutely honest, I didn't really feel like my best interest/ fitness level was taken into consideration. If the week was going to get better, I needed to speak up. And here we have the problem!
The next day, I quickly had my chance to speak up. Ten minutes into the session and X wants me to do an exercise that requires me to step up on a platform using only one leg. Sounds do-able, right? I've done that exercise before with a few other trainers. HOWEVER, X wanted me to step up on a platform that was so high, my knee was in my armpit. After one try at it, I quickly realized that my knee was not going to hold up fourteen more times.
"I can't." I had raised my white flag. I hated saying it, but I knew Icouldn't SHOULDN'T do that exercise for three whole sets of 15. Not if I valued the cartilage in my knee.
"Yes you can! Go! Do it!" said X.
"No. I can't." Tears were streaming down my face. I WANT to be able to do everything that's thrown at me. I WANT to be this workout warrior with a body that could rival any Shape magazine fitness model. But, I can't ignore what my body tells me, and this time - it was telling me, "Nope. Don't even try it, girlfriend" (my body has obviously been watching too many episodes of Living Single)
I had to say "I can't" a few more times in that session and X told me that if I trained with him for SIX months, I'd be able to perform these seemingly impossible tasks with ease (Wait . . . were these sessions a hustle? Were they being made too hard on purpose? Was I getting hustled?)
I made it through the session but ONCE again. My mind was swimming. WWCHS (What Would Claire Huxtable Say?)?? She would probably sternly (NOT RUDELY!!!! I DO NOT ADVOCATE BEING RUDE TO ANYONE WHO IS PROVIDING YOU WITH A SERVICE. I WORKED IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY FOR TOO LONG TO EVEN CONCEIVE OF DOING THAT) tell X that he needed to change the workout for something more appropriate for her. I opened my mouth for something to come out . . . nothin'. Clearly I have a lot of work to do to combat my meekness. Wonder what sort of exercises I can do for that?
For me, X's style didn't work well with my physical fitness level or personality. I was reminded of a time when I lived in New York and went to this shi-shi salon that had pictures of celebrities lining the walls. I handed the man $1000 (not a typo) and he in turn . . . . gave me the crappiest hair-do I've ever had in my lifetime. Just because the celebrities were lining up to sit in his chair, doesn't mean that it was automatically the best thing for me. This experience was the same. Just because X had a ton of followers and fans, doesn't mean that he was automatically the best trainer for me. But in both situations, I wonder what would have happened if I had been more direct - if I had been more assertive (No sir, I do not want bangs as short as my pinky nail!). People aren't mind readers. BUT, I also don't want such a struggle to get what I want every time I go to the salon, gym, etc. Different strokes for Different folks.
I have to listen to what my body is telling me. I can't go by what's working for other people. Remember: If you don't speak up for yourself, who will?
Having an experience like this, really made me appreciate the trainers that meshed with my personality all the more . . . .same thing with hairstylists. Shout out to Teresa in LA! Haa-aaay! (No more Living Single reruns for me!)
Trainer: Name Withheld (known as Trainer X for this entry)
Week 8 turned out to be one of the most valuable lessons I've learned since I began this fitness journey. There is strength that is the opposite of weak, and there is strength that is the opposite of meek. Week 8 tested the latter.
Before meeting Trainer X, I was very excited. X has a great reputation with his other clients and I was kind of giddy at the idea of being trained by him.
After a quick introduction where X asked me my long term goals (skinny jeans, skinny jeans, skinny jeans) he placed some heavy barbells in my hands. Usually, the first 5 repetitions of any exercise are tolerable, 6-10 are hard, 10-12 make me want to cry, 12-15 make me want lay down and die. With X, repetition #2 was beyond painful. It was at this point, I got scared.
I pushed harder than I've ever pushed before and made it through 3 sets of THIRTY repetitions. My arms felt like they were going to fall off. I looked at the clock . . . . seven minutes into session. Twenty-three minutes left. Crap.
I like being pushed. That, after all, is why I'm seeing the trainers in the first place. BUT - there's a fine line between pushing someone to get them to work and pushing them to the point where someone could get hurt. For me, this was quickly turning into an experience where I could get hurt. Maybe something was getting lost in translation, but I had hoped my facial expressions and body language was enough to tell him, "Dude, I'm going to break in half!". Apparently not.
In my first session, I was the good soldier, and did every exercise that I was told to do. My arms were on fire, tears were streaming down my face, I was lifting more weight that I had ever done. I didn't think I could keep up the pace for three more sessions. I didn't question, I didn't speak up.
Session two, I completely chickened out. I couldn't do it. It was too emotionally exhausting. Here I thought I had made all of this progress, but in this situation, I felt back to square one. I felt like a loser, a failure. My body would not allow me to do all of the exercises X wanted me to do. The feeling of defeat was weighing heavy on me and I just couldn't bring myself to go to my session. And so, for the very first time. . . . I canceled.
On my day off I thought about what my problem was. I had PLENTY of trainers who had pushed me to the limit, why was this so different? The best answer I can give you is this: It just was. To be absolutely honest, I didn't really feel like my best interest/ fitness level was taken into consideration. If the week was going to get better, I needed to speak up. And here we have the problem!
I. Hate. Confrontation.
I totally chicken out. Now, I am perfectly capable of getting my point across through letters and emails. In fact, if you are ever on the receiving end of one of my "Strongly Worded Emails" . . . look out! It is like a letter version of a Claire Huxtable/ Julia Sugarbaker tongue lashing. In letters, I can say exactly what I want in a tone that would have the reader think that I am a force to be reckoned with. In person. . . . Not. so. much. But if I was going to get the most out of my next session, I needed to speak up.The next day, I quickly had my chance to speak up. Ten minutes into the session and X wants me to do an exercise that requires me to step up on a platform using only one leg. Sounds do-able, right? I've done that exercise before with a few other trainers. HOWEVER, X wanted me to step up on a platform that was so high, my knee was in my armpit. After one try at it, I quickly realized that my knee was not going to hold up fourteen more times.
"I can't." I had raised my white flag. I hated saying it, but I knew I
"Yes you can! Go! Do it!" said X.
"No. I can't." Tears were streaming down my face. I WANT to be able to do everything that's thrown at me. I WANT to be this workout warrior with a body that could rival any Shape magazine fitness model. But, I can't ignore what my body tells me, and this time - it was telling me, "Nope. Don't even try it, girlfriend" (my body has obviously been watching too many episodes of Living Single)
I had to say "I can't" a few more times in that session and X told me that if I trained with him for SIX months, I'd be able to perform these seemingly impossible tasks with ease (Wait . . . were these sessions a hustle? Were they being made too hard on purpose? Was I getting hustled?)
I made it through the session but ONCE again. My mind was swimming. WWCHS (What Would Claire Huxtable Say?)?? She would probably sternly (NOT RUDELY!!!! I DO NOT ADVOCATE BEING RUDE TO ANYONE WHO IS PROVIDING YOU WITH A SERVICE. I WORKED IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY FOR TOO LONG TO EVEN CONCEIVE OF DOING THAT) tell X that he needed to change the workout for something more appropriate for her. I opened my mouth for something to come out . . . nothin'. Clearly I have a lot of work to do to combat my meekness. Wonder what sort of exercises I can do for that?
For me, X's style didn't work well with my physical fitness level or personality. I was reminded of a time when I lived in New York and went to this shi-shi salon that had pictures of celebrities lining the walls. I handed the man $1000 (not a typo) and he in turn . . . . gave me the crappiest hair-do I've ever had in my lifetime. Just because the celebrities were lining up to sit in his chair, doesn't mean that it was automatically the best thing for me. This experience was the same. Just because X had a ton of followers and fans, doesn't mean that he was automatically the best trainer for me. But in both situations, I wonder what would have happened if I had been more direct - if I had been more assertive (No sir, I do not want bangs as short as my pinky nail!). People aren't mind readers. BUT, I also don't want such a struggle to get what I want every time I go to the salon, gym, etc. Different strokes for Different folks.
I have to listen to what my body is telling me. I can't go by what's working for other people. Remember: If you don't speak up for yourself, who will?
To thine own self be true -that Polonius guy from Hamlet.
I may not be up on my Shakespeare quotes,
but I am DEFINITELY up on my Clueless quotes.
If something doesn't feel right: ask if you can do something different. If it still doesn't feel right, remember "No" is not a dirty word.
Having an experience like this, really made me appreciate the trainers that meshed with my personality all the more . . . .same thing with hairstylists. Shout out to Teresa in LA! Haa-aaay! (No more Living Single reruns for me!)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Human Flag
Week 7 Trainer: John Chen
Location: North Ridge Rapid Fitness
Sessions: 4 (T/W/Th/F)
This is my trainer for week 7:
No, this is not a picture of him standing, holding a bar that I posted sideways. He is actually holding up his entire body up (despite my poor picture taking techniques, you can still see his feet aren't touching anything) in mid-air like a freaking HUMAN FLAG!!!! (And it's not Photoshop either! I can barely figure out how to POST pictures, let alone alter them) In person, it is very Matrix-y looking and is absolutely one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
Unlike my sessions with other trainers, I gave John some direction with what I wanted to accomplish in our sessions: I want to do exercises that will help me do the human flag. Just to kill the suspense right here and now I'll tell you . . . THIS POST DOES NOT END WITH ME ROCKING OUT THE HUMAN FLAG LIKE A NINJA!! Um, try leaning sideways and lifting ONE leg! Go ahead! I'll wait! . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hard, right? I'm not completely lacking in common sense. Although, anyone who knew me as a 24-year-old, may argue that point with complete validation. I am perfectly aware that a feat like that was not just improbable but IMPOSSIBLE in four days. BUT (I'm mighty fond of the caps today for some reason), I wanted to do exercises that one would do IF one wanted to learn how to do the human flag. Because it is ALLLLLL core! If your core is strong enough for that move, then you are a badass . . . . or Spiderman.
My first session with John started with an exercise involving a medicine ball and a wall. I quietly prayed to develop hand/ eye in a matter of seconds. But I'm sure we can all guess what happened. 3....2....1.... Oh, my nose!! Yup, first rep of the first set and I bonked myself in the nose with a 6 lb medicine ball. I may or may not have used this as an opportunity to: 1) Do a pretty solid impression of Marsha Brady 2) Get John to take it easy on me the rest of the session. Um yeah, he's former Navy, so somehow my rubber ball to the nose did not evoke much sympathy (or appreciation for my Marsha Brady impression).
Oh yeah, I should mention that in my first session he made me do 90 dead lifts!!!!!! NINETY!!! NOVENTA! QUATRE-VINGT NIX! NEUNZIG! I thought the "dead" in dead lifts was just for show. Nope. It's literally how you feel the next day.
John's ab workout should be put on video. I have NEVER seen an ab workout this hard in my life. One of the exercises he had me do, I could only do 5 and the burn was so intense I had to stop for a breather. I thought of the time when I read that (pre-shaved head, pre-K-Fed) Britney Spears did 500 sit-ups a day. 500 sit-ups seems like a walk in the park compared to 3 minutes of John's ab workout. As much as I complained though (it's kind of my thing if you haven't noticed), I'm going to try to do parts of his ab workout every day. I've wanted rock hard abs since I was 16. I've gotten close but something (*cough* Dunkin Donuts *cough* *cough*) usually makes it go back to its Jello-y state. I'm pretty sure if I do John's ab workout every day for the next four weeks, my abs are going to be very steel-like. In fact, I may just turn into one of those morons who goes around asking people to punch them in the stomach. And if you knew me at age 24 . . . . you might just want to.
Like I said, I did not magically learn how to do the human flag in four days. But I'll let Bruce Lee explain why I needed/wanted to focus on it:
Location: North Ridge Rapid Fitness
Sessions: 4 (T/W/Th/F)
This is my trainer for week 7:
No, this is not a picture of him standing, holding a bar that I posted sideways. He is actually holding up his entire body up (despite my poor picture taking techniques, you can still see his feet aren't touching anything) in mid-air like a freaking HUMAN FLAG!!!! (And it's not Photoshop either! I can barely figure out how to POST pictures, let alone alter them) In person, it is very Matrix-y looking and is absolutely one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
Unlike my sessions with other trainers, I gave John some direction with what I wanted to accomplish in our sessions: I want to do exercises that will help me do the human flag. Just to kill the suspense right here and now I'll tell you . . . THIS POST DOES NOT END WITH ME ROCKING OUT THE HUMAN FLAG LIKE A NINJA!! Um, try leaning sideways and lifting ONE leg! Go ahead! I'll wait! . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hard, right? I'm not completely lacking in common sense. Although, anyone who knew me as a 24-year-old, may argue that point with complete validation. I am perfectly aware that a feat like that was not just improbable but IMPOSSIBLE in four days. BUT (I'm mighty fond of the caps today for some reason), I wanted to do exercises that one would do IF one wanted to learn how to do the human flag. Because it is ALLLLLL core! If your core is strong enough for that move, then you are a badass . . . . or Spiderman.
My first session with John started with an exercise involving a medicine ball and a wall. I quietly prayed to develop hand/ eye in a matter of seconds. But I'm sure we can all guess what happened. 3....2....1.... Oh, my nose!! Yup, first rep of the first set and I bonked myself in the nose with a 6 lb medicine ball. I may or may not have used this as an opportunity to: 1) Do a pretty solid impression of Marsha Brady 2) Get John to take it easy on me the rest of the session. Um yeah, he's former Navy, so somehow my rubber ball to the nose did not evoke much sympathy (or appreciation for my Marsha Brady impression).
Oh yeah, I should mention that in my first session he made me do 90 dead lifts!!!!!! NINETY!!! NOVENTA! QUATRE-VINGT NIX! NEUNZIG! I thought the "dead" in dead lifts was just for show. Nope. It's literally how you feel the next day.
John's ab workout should be put on video. I have NEVER seen an ab workout this hard in my life. One of the exercises he had me do, I could only do 5 and the burn was so intense I had to stop for a breather. I thought of the time when I read that (pre-shaved head, pre-K-Fed) Britney Spears did 500 sit-ups a day. 500 sit-ups seems like a walk in the park compared to 3 minutes of John's ab workout. As much as I complained though (it's kind of my thing if you haven't noticed), I'm going to try to do parts of his ab workout every day. I've wanted rock hard abs since I was 16. I've gotten close but something (*cough* Dunkin Donuts *cough* *cough*) usually makes it go back to its Jello-y state. I'm pretty sure if I do John's ab workout every day for the next four weeks, my abs are going to be very steel-like. In fact, I may just turn into one of those morons who goes around asking people to punch them in the stomach. And if you knew me at age 24 . . . . you might just want to.
Like I said, I did not magically learn how to do the human flag in four days. But I'll let Bruce Lee explain why I needed/wanted to focus on it:
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
- Bruce Lee
Ask me about the human flag in a couple months. If I can do it, I think I've earned a salute.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
33 ways to spoil yourself for $20 or less aka ME GIFTS
Fun fact about my mom's house: There is an plethora (who says you don't use SAT words in real life!) of magazines to assist in my procrastination from doing pretty much anything. The other day I found myself thumbing through an old issue of Shape magazine with Lauren Conrad on the cover. If you don't know who Lauren Conrad is:
1. Like, ohmigod! Like, where have you been for, like, the past 4 years?
2. She is famous for acting singing um. . . .
being herself on camera on the now defunct reality show, The Hills
Anyways, Miss Conrad said that the when she needs motivation to go to the gym she simply goes out and buys a brand new workout wardrobe.** Now, if I had a spare $500 - who are we kidding, a pair of pants at lululemon (www.lululemon.com) costs $100, so a new wardrobe would be more like $1000 - a month to spend on cute workout pants and tank tops, I'd probably be skipping my happy butt to the gym too. But not because I had new (overpriced) outfits, but because I had a spare $1000! Unfortunately, I do not receive paychecks from: reality shows, movie cameos, BOOK DEALS (Don't get me started on that one. The envy and contempt might build up and cut off my circulation), endorsement deals or clothing lines. Thus, going out and reenacting the shopping scene from Pretty Woman (but in the Nike Store) is tragically, freakin' impossible.
Reading this article happened to coincide with me accidentally weighing myself earlier in the day. Now I say "accidentally" because it was not planned and if I hadn't literally tripped (How coordinated are you first thing in the morning?) over the scale, I wouldn't have weighed myself for a few more weeks. But the scale was right there, so I weighed myself and LO AND BEHOLD - I've lost 10 lbs. so far!!!!!! I got to thinking about ways that I can keep myself motivated/ treat myself for a job well done within MY budget (not L.C's) ~ which is about $20: a $20 "Me Gift". So, since I have NO LIFE these days, I took it upon myself to go to a few stores (TJ Maxx, Ross, World Market, Pier 1 Imports, etc) and write down some ideas for ways you can treat yourself for $20 or less that can either motivate you to go to the gym or symbolize some small accomplishment you've made by going.
Oh yeah, I didn't want to include anything food related because I'm trying to get away from the idea of using food as a reward or punishment. That's what got me in this predicament in the first place. I've been using food in the same way a cutter uses a sharp object for far too long. So you can put food on your $20 "ME GIFT" list, but it's staying off of mine. I've come too far to revert to bad habits.
So here's a few ideas for some $20 "Me Gifts". Go out and spoil yourself!
Oh yeah, If anyone's wondering if I would "keep it real" with $20 Me Gifts if/when I hit it rich, the answer is . . . .HELL TO THE NO SUCKAS!!! Right after I moved on up to the East Side to a deluxe apartment in the sky, I would hop on a private jet just to have lunch some country where only rich people seem to be allowed to go (Ibiza, St. Tropaz perhaps?). And after a fewmonths weeks days hours, when I had forgotten my old, simpleton life (where I had to - what's that word again?? Bu. . . Bu . .oh yeah! BUDGET) I'm sure I will think it normal to buy a brand new workout wardrobe every time I needed motivation to go to the gym . . . just like Lauren Conrad.
** Now of course, I can't find the issue with Lauren Conrad on the cover. It must have fallen behind something after I threw it across the room after having to read about her 3 book publishing deal. But I think it was the January 2008 issue
1. Like, ohmigod! Like, where have you been for, like, the past 4 years?
2. She is famous for
being herself on camera on the now defunct reality show, The Hills
Anyways, Miss Conrad said that the when she needs motivation to go to the gym she simply goes out and buys a brand new workout wardrobe.** Now, if I had a spare $500 - who are we kidding, a pair of pants at lululemon (www.lululemon.com) costs $100, so a new wardrobe would be more like $1000 - a month to spend on cute workout pants and tank tops, I'd probably be skipping my happy butt to the gym too. But not because I had new (overpriced) outfits, but because I had a spare $1000! Unfortunately, I do not receive paychecks from: reality shows, movie cameos, BOOK DEALS (Don't get me started on that one. The envy and contempt might build up and cut off my circulation), endorsement deals or clothing lines. Thus, going out and reenacting the shopping scene from Pretty Woman (but in the Nike Store) is tragically, freakin' impossible.
Reading this article happened to coincide with me accidentally weighing myself earlier in the day. Now I say "accidentally" because it was not planned and if I hadn't literally tripped (How coordinated are you first thing in the morning?) over the scale, I wouldn't have weighed myself for a few more weeks. But the scale was right there, so I weighed myself and LO AND BEHOLD - I've lost 10 lbs. so far!!!!!! I got to thinking about ways that I can keep myself motivated/ treat myself for a job well done within MY budget (not L.C's) ~ which is about $20: a $20 "Me Gift". So, since I have NO LIFE these days, I took it upon myself to go to a few stores (TJ Maxx, Ross, World Market, Pier 1 Imports, etc) and write down some ideas for ways you can treat yourself for $20 or less that can either motivate you to go to the gym or symbolize some small accomplishment you've made by going.
Oh yeah, I didn't want to include anything food related because I'm trying to get away from the idea of using food as a reward or punishment. That's what got me in this predicament in the first place. I've been using food in the same way a cutter uses a sharp object for far too long. So you can put food on your $20 "ME GIFT" list, but it's staying off of mine. I've come too far to revert to bad habits.
So here's a few ideas for some $20 "Me Gifts". Go out and spoil yourself!
- New workout pants ~ $12.99 ~ TJ Maxx
- 15 new music downloads from iTunes ~ $19.35 (assuming you get the $1.29 download. What happened to the .99 downloads? Aren't you rich enough Steve Jobs????)
- 1 Year subscription to magazine (Shape, Cosmo, Men's Health, etc) ~ approx. $15.00 (O Magazine is $18 - but she can do that because she's Oprah)
- Yoga Mat ~ $10.99 ~ TJ Maxx (fun designs and colors!)
- Used copy of Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill ~ $7.50 ~ Amazon (if you have not read this book, BUY IT!!! It's about have a richer, fuller life. . . . not bank account!!)
- Used copy of The Biggest Loser Cookbook: More than 125 Healthy Recipes Adapted from NBC's Hit Show ~ $5.00 ~ Amazon
- Movie ticket ~ $11.00 +$ .30 banana + $2.67 edamame (so you aren't tempted with movie snacks) = $13.97
- Used workout dvd (Examples: Bollywood Dance Workout, Pussycat Dolls Workout, Luscious: the Bellydance Workout) ~ approx. $7.99 - Amazon
- Manicure AND pedicure ~$18 (Impossible you say? Nope. Take advantage of the penny saver that comes in the mail. I found THREE coupons for local nail salons that gave 20% - 30% discounts on mani/pedis)
- 1 huge candle ~ $15 ~ Pier 1 Imports
- Mr. Bubbles ~ $4.65 ~ Walmart
- decorative vases ~ $14.95 ~ Pier 1 (Instead of flowers, write a motivating quote on a piece of paper, put the paper on a stick and "plant" in vase. You have a motivating bouquet!)
- Leather Journal ~ $12.19 ~ Walmart
- Fresh cut flowers ~ $15.00 (put those by your bed! Really puts me in a good mood to wake up to fresh flowers) ~ Farmers Market
- Gym/ Beach bag ~$14.50 ~ Old Navy
- Flip Flops ~ $5.00 ~ Old Navy (new shower shoes after your hard workout!)
- Sports bra ~$15.00 ~ Old Navy
- Reusable, Steel H2O bottle ~ $5.00 ~ Old Navy
- Pajama pants ~ $14.50 ~ Old Navy (If your day isn't made a little bit better by some cute pajama pants. . . tisk, tisk)
- Super cute scarves for any season ~ $9.99 ~ World Market
- Toss pillows ~$9.99 ~ World Market (congratulate yourself for snazzing up your body by snazzing up your house)
- Picture frame ~ $5.00 ~ Ross (save the picture for when you achieve your goal!)
- This one is exclusively for Ms. Liz Custer - - - - TEAM EDWARD STEEL WATER BOTTLE ~ $4.99 ~ Ross
- Four 12oz mugs ~ $5.99 ~ Ross
- Used camera ~ $19.00 ~ Amazon (Yes! USED CAMERA for under $20!!!)
- Timex Sports Digital watch ~ $14.99 ~ Target (and it wasn't ugly, it was water resistant, and something else - - - I tuned out when the guy was talking)
- Kiss My Face Cleansing Mask ~ $9.94 ~ CVS (Make a spa day at home! Also, I'm not advocating Kiss My Face brand. It just happened to be the one I saw for $9.94 so don't get mad at me if you try it and don't like it)
- Personalized cosmetic bag ~ $15.95 ~ http://www.personalizationmall.com/
- Personalized golf ball set ~ $18.35 ~ http://www.personalizationmall.com/ (thought I forgot about the men-folk, didn't you?)
- Relaxation cd ~ $10.18 ~ Target (+ Mr. Bubbles and that is a great night if you ask me)
- Dry Erase Board for the fridge ~ $8.50 ~ Office Depot (write down your goals, your progress, the date that Glee comes back on TV!)
- GEL BIKE SEAT ~ $11.99 ~ Target
- Polka-dot terry towel wrap ~ $16.99 ~ Target (get ready in the locker room without having to worry about your towel falling and maybe/ possibly screaming in embarrassment)
Whew!!!! Ok, that's 33. Since I just turned the big 3-3 last week, I feel that's a good number to stop on.
Just a few ideas to show you that you don't need an entire new wardrobe to congratulate yourself on trying something new OR to motivate yourself to do it.
Oh yeah, If anyone's wondering if I would "keep it real" with $20 Me Gifts if/when I hit it rich, the answer is . . . .HELL TO THE NO SUCKAS!!! Right after I moved on up to the East Side to a deluxe apartment in the sky, I would hop on a private jet just to have lunch some country where only rich people seem to be allowed to go (Ibiza, St. Tropaz perhaps?). And after a few
** Now of course, I can't find the issue with Lauren Conrad on the cover. It must have fallen behind something after I threw it across the room after having to read about her 3 book publishing deal. But I think it was the January 2008 issue
Friday, August 13, 2010
Break Week!
Week 6: Break week!
Since I have spent so much time recapping my personal drama, I've neglected to tell you about what happened last week, fitness-wise. After 5 trainers (Larry, Jenn, Bryan, Jeramie, and Fabian) I was in need of a break from training sessions. I am MUCH stronger and healthier than I was just a month ago but my body was screaming for a "time out".
I didn't want to take the week off and do absolutely nothing. I read somewhere that it takes FIVE weeks to make a habit. That means that I've literally just made working out a habit. It just started feeling more awkward to stay AWAY from the gym than to go. I don't want to lose all of the mental progress I've made. So, I decided to take advantage of some of the classes that the gym had to offer.
The first one I wanted to try was RPM (aka Spin/ Cycling class). For those who don't know what it is, RPM/Spin/Cycle classes are cardio classes at gyms across the world where people get on stationary bikes, pedal like they're being chased by the Boogy Man even though they are headed nowhere, and sweat from every pore in their entire body. For fun. I've avoided those types of classes for 10 years. While all of my friends at the Equinox Gym in NY (shout out to the Rique Uresti kickboxing crew! Ha-ay!!) were spinning their butts off (literally), I watched from the sidelines. My issues with bikes (to review: I hear the Wicked Witch of the West music every time I pedal on a bike) kept me from trying it. But I'm determined to take cycling OFF of the NGH list (See: http://www.kz-getfitordietryin.blogspot.com/2010/07/ngh.html) and try something outside of my comfort zone.
Plus, the gym owner's wife (who looks like a red-headed Barbie, by the way), said that she lost most of her pregnancy weight (She's popped TWO babies out of that perfect body) within the first month of returning to gym by adding Spin Classes into her workout regimen. SOLD! Sign me up!
Starting a new aerobics class feels like starting a new school in January. While you are new, no one else is. Everyone else knows each other and they know what they're doing. It's so easy to want to slip out of the door and flee for the comforts of your car. But it's only awkward for about 5 minutes. If you're ever in a new aerobics class, I highly encourage you to raise your hand say "I'm new! Can you help me?". Especially if the objects used in such aerobics class have the potential to really bruise your Southern lady parts, if you get my drift (damn you bike seat. Damn you!!!).
In my first spin class the instructor, Heather, taught me how to line up my bike so that it's the right height for me. When you first sit on it, it ain't comfy. I'll tell you that much. But I will admit, the feeling does go away. But I'm still going to invest in a gel seat for my bike. Now, I've done more than my share of step classes and kickboxing classes but THIS workout is unreal. It's not complicated in movements (no 8-counts, no grapevines) but It. Is. Tough. My entire body was sweating. I realize I'm behind in the times with this workout trend, but if you haven't tried it. . .. try it three times. It will take two times for your crotch to stop screaming at you so the third time is when you will really start enjoying it. Plus, you can burn 400-600 calories in an hour! So far, I've taken class with Chris and Heather, both awesome. I don't know if all people who take RPM/ Spin are like the people who take the class at my gym but folks (FOLKS?? Wow, I'm really picking up this Southern lingo) were whoopin' and hollarin' and supporting each other! It was like a big party! So much fun, that I almost forgot about my bruised lady parts. . . . almost.
I also took a "Body Flow" class. Body flow is a blend of yoga, tai chi and Pilates. I love me some Pilates. When I was more financially care-free, I took Pilates at Pilates Plus in Hollywood (check it out if you're in Hollywood: http://www.pilatesplushbv.com/index.html) but I've never been a Yogi. I just can't bring myself to rest my body and mind long enough to get through a class. Luckily, the movement in this class is faster than a typical yoga class. It combined "adult contemporary" music (you know, like the kind of music you hear at the dentist) and no one was asking me to "meditate with my third eye" (Dear Yoga instructors across America: It is impossible to relax with you telling me I need to visualize a third eye in my head. I do not care if this is spiritual and not literal. It is nasty. Please adjust your sessions accordingly. Love, Kai). It was yoga moves to some up-beat music (Read: NO ENYA IN THE WHOLE HOUR!). THIS I could handle. Did I mention the class was taught by my boss?? At first I was skeptical to take a class by the person who signs my paycheck (If I didn't do well, would she take away my new raise??) but I'm very happy that I went. Thanks Renee. Ummm . . . . If I say it was awesome like 100 more times, ya think I can get another raise?
My Yogi LA friends have often told me that stretching the body can release pockets of energy that release emotions and out of nowhere you find yourself laughing or crying. I don't know what the medical community thinks about this but WOW did that happen to me. One moment I'm leaning back stretching my core, the next minute I'm getting choked up and trying to wipe my tears before anyone could see. They saw. It was like the popping of a huge, emotional zit (sorry . . . best analogy I could think of. Sorry if you were eating). All of the stress and emotion that's been building up in my personal life decided to manifest in the middle of class. But, it's ok. Clearly it needed to come out. Cheaper than a therapy session THAT'S for sure!
It has not escaped me that six weeks ago when my body was begging me for a change, it could have meant several things. I don't think I could handle what I'm now going through (being newly single and all) without having some sort of outlet for my emotions. It's as if my subconscious was trying to prepare me for this all along. Now, since my subconscious is so intuitive I have one question I'd like to ask it: WHY WILL YOU NOT TELL ME SOME WINNING LOTTO NUMBERS!!!!!!!!
I hope you will try something new this week, even if you're stressed or going through a hard time. In fact, ESPECIALLY if you are stressed or going through a hard time. I think that's a good note to end on.
Since I have spent so much time recapping my personal drama, I've neglected to tell you about what happened last week, fitness-wise. After 5 trainers (Larry, Jenn, Bryan, Jeramie, and Fabian) I was in need of a break from training sessions. I am MUCH stronger and healthier than I was just a month ago but my body was screaming for a "time out".
I didn't want to take the week off and do absolutely nothing. I read somewhere that it takes FIVE weeks to make a habit. That means that I've literally just made working out a habit. It just started feeling more awkward to stay AWAY from the gym than to go. I don't want to lose all of the mental progress I've made. So, I decided to take advantage of some of the classes that the gym had to offer.
The first one I wanted to try was RPM (aka Spin/ Cycling class). For those who don't know what it is, RPM/Spin/Cycle classes are cardio classes at gyms across the world where people get on stationary bikes, pedal like they're being chased by the Boogy Man even though they are headed nowhere, and sweat from every pore in their entire body. For fun. I've avoided those types of classes for 10 years. While all of my friends at the Equinox Gym in NY (shout out to the Rique Uresti kickboxing crew! Ha-ay!!) were spinning their butts off (literally), I watched from the sidelines. My issues with bikes (to review: I hear the Wicked Witch of the West music every time I pedal on a bike) kept me from trying it. But I'm determined to take cycling OFF of the NGH list (See: http://www.kz-getfitordietryin.blogspot.com/2010/07/ngh.html) and try something outside of my comfort zone.
Plus, the gym owner's wife (who looks like a red-headed Barbie, by the way), said that she lost most of her pregnancy weight (She's popped TWO babies out of that perfect body) within the first month of returning to gym by adding Spin Classes into her workout regimen. SOLD! Sign me up!
Starting a new aerobics class feels like starting a new school in January. While you are new, no one else is. Everyone else knows each other and they know what they're doing. It's so easy to want to slip out of the door and flee for the comforts of your car. But it's only awkward for about 5 minutes. If you're ever in a new aerobics class, I highly encourage you to raise your hand say "I'm new! Can you help me?". Especially if the objects used in such aerobics class have the potential to really bruise your Southern lady parts, if you get my drift (damn you bike seat. Damn you!!!).
In my first spin class the instructor, Heather, taught me how to line up my bike so that it's the right height for me. When you first sit on it, it ain't comfy. I'll tell you that much. But I will admit, the feeling does go away. But I'm still going to invest in a gel seat for my bike. Now, I've done more than my share of step classes and kickboxing classes but THIS workout is unreal. It's not complicated in movements (no 8-counts, no grapevines) but It. Is. Tough. My entire body was sweating. I realize I'm behind in the times with this workout trend, but if you haven't tried it. . .. try it three times. It will take two times for your crotch to stop screaming at you so the third time is when you will really start enjoying it. Plus, you can burn 400-600 calories in an hour! So far, I've taken class with Chris and Heather, both awesome. I don't know if all people who take RPM/ Spin are like the people who take the class at my gym but folks (FOLKS?? Wow, I'm really picking up this Southern lingo) were whoopin' and hollarin' and supporting each other! It was like a big party! So much fun, that I almost forgot about my bruised lady parts. . . . almost.
I also took a "Body Flow" class. Body flow is a blend of yoga, tai chi and Pilates. I love me some Pilates. When I was more financially care-free, I took Pilates at Pilates Plus in Hollywood (check it out if you're in Hollywood: http://www.pilatesplushbv.com/index.html) but I've never been a Yogi. I just can't bring myself to rest my body and mind long enough to get through a class. Luckily, the movement in this class is faster than a typical yoga class. It combined "adult contemporary" music (you know, like the kind of music you hear at the dentist) and no one was asking me to "meditate with my third eye" (Dear Yoga instructors across America: It is impossible to relax with you telling me I need to visualize a third eye in my head. I do not care if this is spiritual and not literal. It is nasty. Please adjust your sessions accordingly. Love, Kai). It was yoga moves to some up-beat music (Read: NO ENYA IN THE WHOLE HOUR!). THIS I could handle. Did I mention the class was taught by my boss?? At first I was skeptical to take a class by the person who signs my paycheck (If I didn't do well, would she take away my new raise??) but I'm very happy that I went. Thanks Renee. Ummm . . . . If I say it was awesome like 100 more times, ya think I can get another raise?
My Yogi LA friends have often told me that stretching the body can release pockets of energy that release emotions and out of nowhere you find yourself laughing or crying. I don't know what the medical community thinks about this but WOW did that happen to me. One moment I'm leaning back stretching my core, the next minute I'm getting choked up and trying to wipe my tears before anyone could see. They saw. It was like the popping of a huge, emotional zit (sorry . . . best analogy I could think of. Sorry if you were eating). All of the stress and emotion that's been building up in my personal life decided to manifest in the middle of class. But, it's ok. Clearly it needed to come out. Cheaper than a therapy session THAT'S for sure!
It has not escaped me that six weeks ago when my body was begging me for a change, it could have meant several things. I don't think I could handle what I'm now going through (being newly single and all) without having some sort of outlet for my emotions. It's as if my subconscious was trying to prepare me for this all along. Now, since my subconscious is so intuitive I have one question I'd like to ask it: WHY WILL YOU NOT TELL ME SOME WINNING LOTTO NUMBERS!!!!!!!!
I hope you will try something new this week, even if you're stressed or going through a hard time. In fact, ESPECIALLY if you are stressed or going through a hard time. I think that's a good note to end on.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I guess I earned my "over-dramatic" badge, but whatever
So the Cliff's Notes for my last post are as follows:
Act I: Relationship with boyfriend falls apart
Act II: Heroine (yours truly) & James Bond (world's BEST dog) move out of boyfriend's house and into her mother's house for the time being
Act III: Heroine still pursuing journey to become a stronger, healthierher she me (inside and out). . . or die tryin'.
My first morning alone was strange. Which is odd considering that I've lived by myself for the greater part of a decade. But, it was eerily quiet. Like, Right-before-Michael-Myers-pops-out-and-kills-the-dumb-bimbo-and-you-scream-and-spill-all-of-your-popcorn quiet. So quiet my own thoughts seemed to be a little bit too loud for me.
All was going o.k. until I realized that my iPod battery was low and I needed to find my charger. Normally, it would be on a table or in a drawer. But because of the move, mine was in a box or a bag. It was a needle in a haystack. And as I looked at all the boxes and bags in the hallway, I started to cry and got all Veruca Salt-ish:
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream!
(I wasn't singing this out loud, but I was singing it in my head pretty awesomely AND on key, I must say). The missing charger was symbolic that everything was once again different. The boxes and bags were symbols of the failure of a relationship. I was overwhelmed with emotion and feelings of defeat. Pardon me, perhaps you've seen my tail? Yeah it's me Eeyore.
It was SO easy and tempting to dwell on what I didn't have and what I had lost. But as I sat on the steps sobbing about my iPod. Yeah, I guess I earned my "over-dramatic" badge, but whatever! I suddenly burst out laughing. I'm crying about a missing iPod charger?!?!?!? If I told this story to someone in a third world country, would they even know what an iPod was??? My cheeks got hot from embarrassment from my own self-pity. I have a roof over my head, I have water to drink, and food to eat. Tons of people would love to have to dig through boxes and bags of clothes and stuff to find an iPod charger. Someone else can play hostess for this pity party, I need to run. Literally. The voice inside of my head was telling me to get my butt on the tredmill and run. And after thirty-THREEE (she said as she took a deep breath to keep from fainting. How did I get this old???) years of ignoring the voice, I'm long overdue to start listening. So I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. And funny what you remember when you calm down. . . . FOUND THE CHARGER!
Since I can't skip off to the gym for a morning workout, my mom's tredmill is going to be my new BFF. . . or enemy. It's nothing fancy but it beats running outside. Seriously NC, I don't know if I can handle this humidity much longer!
As I began to run, something strange happened. I got this strange burst of energy on the tredmill. I ran longer and faster than I have in YEARS. I realize you can't outrun your problems. But for thirty minutes a day. . . . it's nice to try. And it sounds cliche, but I felt better when I was done. I mean my heart was about to leap out of my chest and my legs felt like Pb. Pb is Nerduguese for Lead. I studied the Periodic Table of elements for a whole freakin' month in 1993. I WILL use that information at any opportunity possible. So if you don't like it, you can just take some Kr or some Fe and stick it where the sun don't shine. My eyes were red from tears coming out of them and sweat dripping in. But I FELT better. I couldn't help but think about something the great American philosopher, Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, said:
Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.
Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.
I'm not saying running fixed my problems. But it did make them a little bit more tolerable for a few hours. And for now. . . . I'll take it.
Act I: Relationship with boyfriend falls apart
Act II: Heroine (yours truly) & James Bond (world's BEST dog) move out of boyfriend's house and into her mother's house for the time being
Act III: Heroine still pursuing journey to become a stronger, healthier
My first morning alone was strange. Which is odd considering that I've lived by myself for the greater part of a decade. But, it was eerily quiet. Like, Right-before-Michael-Myers-pops-out-and-kills-the-dumb-bimbo-and-you-scream-and-spill-all-of-your-popcorn quiet. So quiet my own thoughts seemed to be a little bit too loud for me.
All was going o.k. until I realized that my iPod battery was low and I needed to find my charger. Normally, it would be on a table or in a drawer. But because of the move, mine was in a box or a bag. It was a needle in a haystack. And as I looked at all the boxes and bags in the hallway, I started to cry and got all Veruca Salt-ish:
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream!
(I wasn't singing this out loud, but I was singing it in my head pretty awesomely AND on key, I must say). The missing charger was symbolic that everything was once again different. The boxes and bags were symbols of the failure of a relationship. I was overwhelmed with emotion and feelings of defeat. Pardon me, perhaps you've seen my tail? Yeah it's me Eeyore.
It was SO easy and tempting to dwell on what I didn't have and what I had lost. But as I sat on the steps sobbing about my iPod. Yeah, I guess I earned my "over-dramatic" badge, but whatever! I suddenly burst out laughing. I'm crying about a missing iPod charger?!?!?!? If I told this story to someone in a third world country, would they even know what an iPod was??? My cheeks got hot from embarrassment from my own self-pity. I have a roof over my head, I have water to drink, and food to eat. Tons of people would love to have to dig through boxes and bags of clothes and stuff to find an iPod charger. Someone else can play hostess for this pity party, I need to run. Literally. The voice inside of my head was telling me to get my butt on the tredmill and run. And after thirty-THREEE (she said as she took a deep breath to keep from fainting. How did I get this old???) years of ignoring the voice, I'm long overdue to start listening. So I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. And funny what you remember when you calm down. . . . FOUND THE CHARGER!
Since I can't skip off to the gym for a morning workout, my mom's tredmill is going to be my new BFF. . . or enemy. It's nothing fancy but it beats running outside. Seriously NC, I don't know if I can handle this humidity much longer!
As I began to run, something strange happened. I got this strange burst of energy on the tredmill. I ran longer and faster than I have in YEARS. I realize you can't outrun your problems. But for thirty minutes a day. . . . it's nice to try. And it sounds cliche, but I felt better when I was done. I mean my heart was about to leap out of my chest and my legs felt like Pb. Pb is Nerduguese for Lead. I studied the Periodic Table of elements for a whole freakin' month in 1993. I WILL use that information at any opportunity possible. So if you don't like it, you can just take some Kr or some Fe and stick it where the sun don't shine. My eyes were red from tears coming out of them and sweat dripping in. But I FELT better. I couldn't help but think about something the great American philosopher, Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, said:
Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.
Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.
I'm not saying running fixed my problems. But it did make them a little bit more tolerable for a few hours. And for now. . . . I'll take it.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Flowers bloom best when surrounded by a bunch of sh*t
When I was living in LA, I took about four or five different acting classes. Its really a requirement if you live there, along with driving a hybrid and getting hair extensions (check and check). There is no shame in my game in admitting that I was a HORRIBLE actor. According to my teachers, I had a "wall" up and would not allow myself to be vulnerable in front of an audience. Now, at the time, this information was received with a pretty huge eye roll and sigh on my part. I mean, what sort of emotions are you supposed to express (besides contempt) during the acting exercise that requires you to repeat the phrase "red jacket" over and over and over AND OVER again?????** It was then that I determined that if I didn't like 1) acting classes 2) auditioning 3) filming 4) sitting through hair and make-up 5) watching myself on camera - - - - I probably didn't want to be an actor.
But I have been thinking about the whole "allowing myself to be vulnerable" part the past few days. With this blog, I'm trying to achieve healthier, stronger (emotionally and physically stronger) me. It would be unfair of me to leave out some of the larger obstacles that I'm facing in my life. It is with life's most difficult challenges that many of us turn to the comforts of Papa John, Mickey D, Mrs. Fields, Dr. Pepper, Ben, Jerry and the Almighty Cheese-it. I would be leaving out a major part of my journey if I didn't share the all-too-real hardships in my life. That's why I've had a problem with most celebrity endorsed meal plans over the years. Well sure, if I had a couple million, a mansion, a hot husband, a book/movie deal, etc - dieting would be easy! It's hard to relate to people who seemingly have no other problems other than the fact that they need to drop some pounds. So, I think it would be doing you a disservice if I didn't discuss some of the hurdles in my life.
Deep breath. Here we go . . .
So, late last year I moved to NC from LA (West SIIIDE!!! that's how we say it on the mean streets of the Hollywood Hills) to be with my boyfriend. The plan was to live together and eventually get married. Well, it really wasn't all that long before I started to get the feeling that this wasn't right. Without going into too much detail, he was hoping he could make me into the girl he wanted and probably vice versa. When this old dog wasn't picking up that many new tricks (I think you officially reach "old dog" status around 30), we both started to resent each other. YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON! YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON! YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON!! (Do you get that I'm trying to say that you can't change people?) In hindsight, this should have been the point where I packed up my things and left BUT I had sold/ given away everything I had to move to Raleigh. I thought if he was important enough to move across the country and sell everything for, I should stick it out and keep trying. We tried MANY times to make it work and had some fun times but it wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately for me and my bank account as I will more than likely have to seek out therapy in the future. . . .
Therapist: How are you feeling Kai?
Me: Like crap!
Therapist: Sorry to hear that. That will be $100
things got ugly. Words like "useless", "lazy", "stupid", "ugly" were thrown out. Shouting matches became a daily (then almost hourly) ritual. I used to fight and argue back. But the last few months, I stopped. . . and the words were only met with sobs. If you have stock in Kleenex, you're welcome, because I've been using quite a lot lately. I never imagined that I would be THAT girl. I used to scream at the TV when Meredith Baxter, Jaclyn Smith or Tori Spelling were in bad relationships in Lifetime Original Movies. "Girl, You need to kick him to the curb (snap)!" was a frequent one-sided conversation I had with the TV. I never thought how complex relationships can be when you're in the thick of it. Everyone thinks they're the exception, not the rule. The rule being: if a relationship was dead on Wednesday, it ain't comin back to life on Thursday. . . or Friday. . . or next Wednesday! You know that's right girlfriend (snap)! I'm both victim and villain, as is he.
Eventually, things crumbled to the point of no return and YESTERDAY (the day before my 33rd birthday), out of the blue (incidentally when I was on my way to the gym), he called me and told me to leave. Lucky for me, I'm not homeless - I'm staying with my mom who lives 40 minutes away. Now, things have been bad the ENTIRE time that I've been keeping this blog. Have you sensed any walls up? If not - - - HAHAHA acting teachers! Take that! I'm not the worst actress ever! But, things are going to change pretty drastically from here on out adding an extra added challenge to my training and eating plan. From now on, morning training sessions are out of the question. My commute to the closest Rapid Fitness is now about 30 minutes. Instead, each morning I'll be getting on my mom's tredmill while I scream at Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the View. My training sessions will now take place either right before or right after work.
Everything is going to require more planning, but it's not impossible. What I'm learning from this is that nothing is impossible. You simply may have to find another way of attacking the situation.
You know what's funny, I'm not filled with hate about the whole situation. Every second I dwell on the past, I'm taking attention away from improving my future.
I'm not really worthy of dispensing life advice but I have learned this since I started writing this blog: If you open yourself up to the people around you, you will be amazed at all the love you receive back. I know it's tempting to "cocoon" and put walls up but it's a pretty amazing feeling to open up to people, to be vulnerable. Acting teachers: 1 Kai: 0
If you are having a hard time in your life, know this: Flowers bloom best when they're surrounded by a bunch of shit anyways! HA! Can I trademark that phrase???
So today, on my 33rd birthday, I'm taking the day off from the gym and enjoying a healthy dinner with my nana and my mom. Tomorrow is a new beginning. I'm scared, but with some careful planning, I will be ready.
Keep laughing and keep smiling (that's a reminder to myself as much as it is to you),
kai
** The most fundamental exercise in Meisner training is called Repetition [2]. Two actors face each other and "repeat" their observations about one another back and forth. An example of such an exchange might be: "You're smiling." "I'm smiling." "You're smiling!" "Yes, I'm smiling." Actors are asked to observe and respond to others' behavior and the subtext therein. If they can "pick up the impulse" — or work spontaneously from how their partner's behavior affects them — their own behavior will arise directly from the stimulus of the other. (aaaaaand EYE ROLL!)
But I have been thinking about the whole "allowing myself to be vulnerable" part the past few days. With this blog, I'm trying to achieve healthier, stronger (emotionally and physically stronger) me. It would be unfair of me to leave out some of the larger obstacles that I'm facing in my life. It is with life's most difficult challenges that many of us turn to the comforts of Papa John, Mickey D, Mrs. Fields, Dr. Pepper, Ben, Jerry and the Almighty Cheese-it. I would be leaving out a major part of my journey if I didn't share the all-too-real hardships in my life. That's why I've had a problem with most celebrity endorsed meal plans over the years. Well sure, if I had a couple million, a mansion, a hot husband, a book/movie deal, etc - dieting would be easy! It's hard to relate to people who seemingly have no other problems other than the fact that they need to drop some pounds. So, I think it would be doing you a disservice if I didn't discuss some of the hurdles in my life.
Deep breath. Here we go . . .
So, late last year I moved to NC from LA (West SIIIDE!!! that's how we say it on the mean streets of the Hollywood Hills) to be with my boyfriend. The plan was to live together and eventually get married. Well, it really wasn't all that long before I started to get the feeling that this wasn't right. Without going into too much detail, he was hoping he could make me into the girl he wanted and probably vice versa. When this old dog wasn't picking up that many new tricks (I think you officially reach "old dog" status around 30), we both started to resent each other. YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON! YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON! YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON!! (Do you get that I'm trying to say that you can't change people?) In hindsight, this should have been the point where I packed up my things and left BUT I had sold/ given away everything I had to move to Raleigh. I thought if he was important enough to move across the country and sell everything for, I should stick it out and keep trying. We tried MANY times to make it work and had some fun times but it wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately for me and my bank account as I will more than likely have to seek out therapy in the future. . . .
Therapist: How are you feeling Kai?
Me: Like crap!
Therapist: Sorry to hear that. That will be $100
things got ugly. Words like "useless", "lazy", "stupid", "ugly" were thrown out. Shouting matches became a daily (then almost hourly) ritual. I used to fight and argue back. But the last few months, I stopped. . . and the words were only met with sobs. If you have stock in Kleenex, you're welcome, because I've been using quite a lot lately. I never imagined that I would be THAT girl. I used to scream at the TV when Meredith Baxter, Jaclyn Smith or Tori Spelling were in bad relationships in Lifetime Original Movies. "Girl, You need to kick him to the curb (snap)!" was a frequent one-sided conversation I had with the TV. I never thought how complex relationships can be when you're in the thick of it. Everyone thinks they're the exception, not the rule. The rule being: if a relationship was dead on Wednesday, it ain't comin back to life on Thursday. . . or Friday. . . or next Wednesday! You know that's right girlfriend (snap)! I'm both victim and villain, as is he.
Eventually, things crumbled to the point of no return and YESTERDAY (the day before my 33rd birthday), out of the blue (incidentally when I was on my way to the gym), he called me and told me to leave. Lucky for me, I'm not homeless - I'm staying with my mom who lives 40 minutes away. Now, things have been bad the ENTIRE time that I've been keeping this blog. Have you sensed any walls up? If not - - - HAHAHA acting teachers! Take that! I'm not the worst actress ever! But, things are going to change pretty drastically from here on out adding an extra added challenge to my training and eating plan. From now on, morning training sessions are out of the question. My commute to the closest Rapid Fitness is now about 30 minutes. Instead, each morning I'll be getting on my mom's tredmill while I scream at Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the View. My training sessions will now take place either right before or right after work.
Everything is going to require more planning, but it's not impossible. What I'm learning from this is that nothing is impossible. You simply may have to find another way of attacking the situation.
You know what's funny, I'm not filled with hate about the whole situation. Every second I dwell on the past, I'm taking attention away from improving my future.
I'm not really worthy of dispensing life advice but I have learned this since I started writing this blog: If you open yourself up to the people around you, you will be amazed at all the love you receive back. I know it's tempting to "cocoon" and put walls up but it's a pretty amazing feeling to open up to people, to be vulnerable. Acting teachers: 1 Kai: 0
If you are having a hard time in your life, know this: Flowers bloom best when they're surrounded by a bunch of shit anyways! HA! Can I trademark that phrase???
So today, on my 33rd birthday, I'm taking the day off from the gym and enjoying a healthy dinner with my nana and my mom. Tomorrow is a new beginning. I'm scared, but with some careful planning, I will be ready.
Keep laughing and keep smiling (that's a reminder to myself as much as it is to you),
kai
** The most fundamental exercise in Meisner training is called Repetition [2]. Two actors face each other and "repeat" their observations about one another back and forth. An example of such an exchange might be: "You're smiling." "I'm smiling." "You're smiling!" "Yes, I'm smiling." Actors are asked to observe and respond to others' behavior and the subtext therein. If they can "pick up the impulse" — or work spontaneously from how their partner's behavior affects them — their own behavior will arise directly from the stimulus of the other. (aaaaaand EYE ROLL!)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
He's not just the "work-your-butt-off" president, he's also a client
Week 5 Trainer: Fabian
Location: North Ridge Rapid Fitness
Sessions: 4 (M/T/TH/F)
It's been difficult for me to write my week 5 training summary because it was such a cool, eye-opening week and I wanted to give it justice. Then I got anxiety about giving it justice and that led to a nap. . . . or 7. But I'm not allowing myself to read Perezhilton.com until I finish, and I think I'm starting to get the shakes from withdrawal. So let's get to it, before I get all Whitney Houston on everyone. Crack is Whack! Do you hear what I'm sayin', Diane? (Ok, wait - do you think she'll come after me one day for that? Sorry Whitney! I come in peace!)
My week 5 trainer was Fabian. Fabian is a fun, easy going guy who could easily give up personal training for a career as a professional model. Seriously, this guy was made for the pages of GQ (if any talent scouts out there get any bright ideas after reading this, I want a finders fee!). He is a competitive track and field star, originally from Barbados, who has trained alongside the world's best. His style is to train EVERYONE like an athlete. If week 4 was my week to feel like GI Jane, week 5 was my week to feel like a collegiate or pro-athlete. Which is a pretty awesome feeling for someone who was picked last for every P.E. activity since the great "You-can't-hunt-for-lady-bugs-in-the-middle-of-a-kickball- game!" debacle of 1985. By the way, I wasn't looking for lady bugs! I don't do bugs of any kind. I was looking for four-leaf clovers, thank you very much. So there.
Fabian started every session by asking how I was feeling emotionally and physically. Should I bring up that I'm still a little down in the dumps about the fact that I will no longer be able to get my weekly fill of Dr. Jack Shepard and Hurley-isms on LOST ? Probably not. Most of his workouts utilized the medicine ball, the elastic bands and the kettle ball. Even though I'm 5 trainers and over 10 training sessions in, Fabian did exercises that I've never seen before. I couldn't help but wonder if somewhere Kobe, Brett Favre, and LeBron were doing the same exercises or if they were just taking a bath in all of their money a la Scrooge McDuck.
When the burn kicked in from all of the insane core work (Insane, I tell you! IN-SANE!!), I tried to imagine myself as a female track star who can bend over in a sports bra without being afraid that someone will be poke you in the gut and command, "Giggle!" like you're the Pillsbury freakin' Dough Boy (that fear has kept me from the pool all summer).
On day 2, when Fabian asked me how I was feeling, I complained of a little quad soreness (perhaps due to the 100 squats and lunges we did on day 1! I'd like to see you do all that Shaq!). "Oh we can work on that!" he said and changed my workout right then and there. Next thing I know, I'm doing these exercises with the medicine ball that really should be accompanied by someone whistling Sweet Georgia Brown! It was an exercise that was equal parts stretch and burn (kinda like yoga but with a medicine ball). I was having so much fun pretending to be a Harlem Globetrotter and all the shenanigans I would get into on Gilligan's Island or Scooby-doo with the rest of the team, I barely noticed that the strain in my legs was gone and that I was sweating like a pig. Seriously Lady Mitchum Deodorant?? Epic FAIL!!!!
Not only that, but when he put me on the tredmill afterwards, my stride was longer and bore a close resemblance to (Dare I say it?) the stride of a REAL athlete. Allow me to be more specific with the word "athlete" since I recently learned that competitive eaters call themselves "athletes". I mean people who sweat for their sport, not burp. That said. . . . Team Takeru Kobayashi!!! He's going to wipe the floor with you at next years hot dog eating contest, Joey "the Jaws" Chestnut!
By session 4, I thought I was hot stuff. I am woman. . . hear me roar!!! Um . . . wrong. Apparently sessions 1-3 were just a warm-up for #4. Fridays with Fabian. Seriously, I might just be ready for the Olympic trials after this. It was THAT hard. I can't even think of a witty analogy to express exactly how hard this session was!! Let me put it like this: If you work out with Fabian on a Friday, don't worry about being tempted to indulge in beer or wine over the weekend, because you won't be able to lift your arms high enough to get the glass to your mouth. Seriously! Sidenote: Guess who has two thumbs and did THREE sets of pull-ups! THIS GIRL!!!!
One thing to note about Fabian. After he trains his clients in the afternoon (and works as a strength and conditioning coach to a local football or basketball team in the morning) he puts himself through the same rigorous workout as his clients. There have been many late nights when aside from myself and James Bond (what? you don't bring your dog to work with you?), Fabian is one of the last to leave. He's not just the "work-your-butt-off" president, he's also a client.
He studies the human body not just because it's his job as a trainer but because as an athlete, when the difference between first and last place is a fraction of a second, how you train can make all the difference. And I get to reap the benefits of all the knowledge he's accumulated over years of training! Woo-hoo!
I've been thinking back on how much money and time I'vewasted spent on buying drinks ("like Mike, if I could be like Mike! I wanna be, I wanna be like Mike"), clothes (don't get me started on how I begged for a "Bo Knows" shirt), shoes, even watching cartoons (ProStars starring Mike, Wayne and Bo. You know you watched it too so shut it) that featured my favorite athletes in efforts to absorb their abilities and be more like them: faster, stronger . . . . better. Did it work? ummmm, no. Like I said, this girl was picked last (even after the class nose picker) in P.E. class games. But now, I have the tools to really train like them. I dare you to pick me last for kickball now, suckas!
NOW I'm going to read me some perezhilton.com. I don't think I've ever gone this long without my celebrity gossip. I think I have the cold sweats.
Location: North Ridge Rapid Fitness
Sessions: 4 (M/T/TH/F)
It's been difficult for me to write my week 5 training summary because it was such a cool, eye-opening week and I wanted to give it justice. Then I got anxiety about giving it justice and that led to a nap. . . . or 7. But I'm not allowing myself to read Perezhilton.com until I finish, and I think I'm starting to get the shakes from withdrawal. So let's get to it, before I get all Whitney Houston on everyone. Crack is Whack! Do you hear what I'm sayin', Diane? (Ok, wait - do you think she'll come after me one day for that? Sorry Whitney! I come in peace!)
My week 5 trainer was Fabian. Fabian is a fun, easy going guy who could easily give up personal training for a career as a professional model. Seriously, this guy was made for the pages of GQ (if any talent scouts out there get any bright ideas after reading this, I want a finders fee!). He is a competitive track and field star, originally from Barbados, who has trained alongside the world's best. His style is to train EVERYONE like an athlete. If week 4 was my week to feel like GI Jane, week 5 was my week to feel like a collegiate or pro-athlete. Which is a pretty awesome feeling for someone who was picked last for every P.E. activity since the great "You-can't-hunt-for-lady-bugs-in-the-middle-of-a-kickball- game!" debacle of 1985. By the way, I wasn't looking for lady bugs! I don't do bugs of any kind. I was looking for four-leaf clovers, thank you very much. So there.
Fabian started every session by asking how I was feeling emotionally and physically. Should I bring up that I'm still a little down in the dumps about the fact that I will no longer be able to get my weekly fill of Dr. Jack Shepard and Hurley-isms on LOST ? Probably not. Most of his workouts utilized the medicine ball, the elastic bands and the kettle ball. Even though I'm 5 trainers and over 10 training sessions in, Fabian did exercises that I've never seen before. I couldn't help but wonder if somewhere Kobe, Brett Favre, and LeBron were doing the same exercises or if they were just taking a bath in all of their money a la Scrooge McDuck.
When the burn kicked in from all of the insane core work (Insane, I tell you! IN-SANE!!), I tried to imagine myself as a female track star who can bend over in a sports bra without being afraid that someone will be poke you in the gut and command, "Giggle!" like you're the Pillsbury freakin' Dough Boy (that fear has kept me from the pool all summer).
On day 2, when Fabian asked me how I was feeling, I complained of a little quad soreness (perhaps due to the 100 squats and lunges we did on day 1! I'd like to see you do all that Shaq!). "Oh we can work on that!" he said and changed my workout right then and there. Next thing I know, I'm doing these exercises with the medicine ball that really should be accompanied by someone whistling Sweet Georgia Brown! It was an exercise that was equal parts stretch and burn (kinda like yoga but with a medicine ball). I was having so much fun pretending to be a Harlem Globetrotter and all the shenanigans I would get into on Gilligan's Island or Scooby-doo with the rest of the team, I barely noticed that the strain in my legs was gone and that I was sweating like a pig. Seriously Lady Mitchum Deodorant?? Epic FAIL!!!!
Not only that, but when he put me on the tredmill afterwards, my stride was longer and bore a close resemblance to (Dare I say it?) the stride of a REAL athlete. Allow me to be more specific with the word "athlete" since I recently learned that competitive eaters call themselves "athletes". I mean people who sweat for their sport, not burp. That said. . . . Team Takeru Kobayashi!!! He's going to wipe the floor with you at next years hot dog eating contest, Joey "the Jaws" Chestnut!
By session 4, I thought I was hot stuff. I am woman. . . hear me roar!!! Um . . . wrong. Apparently sessions 1-3 were just a warm-up for #4. Fridays with Fabian. Seriously, I might just be ready for the Olympic trials after this. It was THAT hard. I can't even think of a witty analogy to express exactly how hard this session was!! Let me put it like this: If you work out with Fabian on a Friday, don't worry about being tempted to indulge in beer or wine over the weekend, because you won't be able to lift your arms high enough to get the glass to your mouth. Seriously! Sidenote: Guess who has two thumbs and did THREE sets of pull-ups! THIS GIRL!!!!
One thing to note about Fabian. After he trains his clients in the afternoon (and works as a strength and conditioning coach to a local football or basketball team in the morning) he puts himself through the same rigorous workout as his clients. There have been many late nights when aside from myself and James Bond (what? you don't bring your dog to work with you?), Fabian is one of the last to leave. He's not just the "work-your-butt-off" president, he's also a client.
He studies the human body not just because it's his job as a trainer but because as an athlete, when the difference between first and last place is a fraction of a second, how you train can make all the difference. And I get to reap the benefits of all the knowledge he's accumulated over years of training! Woo-hoo!
I've been thinking back on how much money and time I've
NOW I'm going to read me some perezhilton.com. I don't think I've ever gone this long without my celebrity gossip. I think I have the cold sweats.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
.98 cent snackSSS
I walked into the grocery store with the money I found in my cupholder - 98 cents. What do you do if you don't even have a dolla ("r" left off for coolness)?
McDonald's can barely even help you then!!! But fear not!!! The grocery store can indeed come to your aid. All while keeping it healthy too!!!
option 1: 1 medium banana = 30 cents!!!!!(.59 cents a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Eating-Bananas
option 2: 1 peach* = 24 cents!!!!! (.49 cents a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Peach
option 3: 1 sweet potato* = 70 cents!!! (.99 a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Sweet_Potato
option 4: 1 cucumber = 89 cents!!!!
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Cucumber
option 5: 1 apple* = 47 cents!!!! ($1.27 a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/appleshealthbenefits
After limping around the store for a bit, I discovered a dime in my shoe. $1.08!! Somebody get me a Bentley and a bottle of Cristal!!! Somebody be ballin' now!!!! I decided to do a 2nd experiment to see if I could MAKE something with any two items. I chose: a banana and a sweet potato
I baked the sweet potato. I'll wait for you to stop laughing. Yes, I baked. Even I could do it without ruining it:
a) preheat to 350
b) poke holes in it
c) put some olive oil on the outside
d) bake for around 55 minutes
When my sweet potato was nearly ready, I took the banana, sliced it, added about 3 tablespoons of cinnamon applesauce that I had (that may or may not have been stolen from a small child's lunchbox) and stuck that in the microwave for 5 minutes. Then made it a little mushy. Not too mushy though. I have food consistency issues.
I put the banana/ applesauce mixture inside the sweet potato (like I used to do w/ bacon, chives, etc on my regular potato) and. . . . YUM!!!!!! a good-for-you snack (kind of a dessert actually) for exactly $1.08 (including tax)
(a small fry at McDonald's is $1.07 I think and NO ONE gets full off of that)
Just a reminder that just because you're po' ( the "-or" left off for coolness), you can still eat healthy.
* = try produce that says "locally grown". It is usually cheaper!
McDonald's can barely even help you then!!! But fear not!!! The grocery store can indeed come to your aid. All while keeping it healthy too!!!
option 1: 1 medium banana = 30 cents!!!!!(.59 cents a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Eating-Bananas
option 2: 1 peach* = 24 cents!!!!! (.49 cents a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Peach
option 3: 1 sweet potato* = 70 cents!!! (.99 a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Sweet_Potato
option 4: 1 cucumber = 89 cents!!!!
http://hubpages.com/hub/Health_Benefits_of_Cucumber
option 5: 1 apple* = 47 cents!!!! ($1.27 a lb)
http://hubpages.com/hub/appleshealthbenefits
After limping around the store for a bit, I discovered a dime in my shoe. $1.08!! Somebody get me a Bentley and a bottle of Cristal!!! Somebody be ballin' now!!!! I decided to do a 2nd experiment to see if I could MAKE something with any two items. I chose: a banana and a sweet potato
I baked the sweet potato. I'll wait for you to stop laughing. Yes, I baked. Even I could do it without ruining it:
a) preheat to 350
b) poke holes in it
c) put some olive oil on the outside
d) bake for around 55 minutes
When my sweet potato was nearly ready, I took the banana, sliced it, added about 3 tablespoons of cinnamon applesauce that I had (that may or may not have been stolen from a small child's lunchbox) and stuck that in the microwave for 5 minutes. Then made it a little mushy. Not too mushy though. I have food consistency issues.
I put the banana/ applesauce mixture inside the sweet potato (like I used to do w/ bacon, chives, etc on my regular potato) and. . . . YUM!!!!!! a good-for-you snack (kind of a dessert actually) for exactly $1.08 (including tax)
(a small fry at McDonald's is $1.07 I think and NO ONE gets full off of that)
Just a reminder that just because you're po' ( the "-or" left off for coolness), you can still eat healthy.
* = try produce that says "locally grown". It is usually cheaper!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
I can not be trusted
Week 5
Well, let's start of with some good news: My car is clean (for the most part)!!!! Hooray! It only took me three or four weeks to follow through, but I did it!!! Now for the bad news: my assignment two weeks ago was to read a book. Um . . . . I haven't read a page. So, it stays on the list.
This week my meeting with Dr. Josh took an interesting turn. He started by looking at my food journal and asking me how I felt. Lately, I've been feeling pretty darn good: I'm getting up earlier, my skin's looking pretty good. I mean, I still haven't won the lotto or anything but as far as my health goes, I'm feeling A-OK. That is, until he tells me that we're going to work BREAD back into my diet. Wait. . . What? Come again!! I can't. I can't do that. I can't be trusted with it. Addicts can't be trusted to use their drug of choice in moderation, why should I ? I am a carb addict. I don't think I can be trusted with it without turning into Animal from the Muppets. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared.
There have been sad moments in my past where I've eaten an entire loaf of bread in ONE day. ONE. DAY. In fact, my very first diet when I was 16 consisted of only eating bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I lost weight (for about a week) and thought that I had found the secret (Sad, but true). When bread wasn't on my list of acceptable foods it was a lot easier to avoid the aisles b/c it was forbidden and it was against the rules. It will be a lot harder to turn my back on the aisle simply because I CHOOSE not to go down it. I don't want the choice! I don't think I'm strong enough to make the right one!
Dr. Josh picked up on my nervousness and suggested that I try bread for one day and one day only and see what happens. Ok, one day. I think I can handle that. Let's hope so. On the bright side, if I fail, maybe I'll pick up the ability to play the drums like a maniac.
Well, let's start of with some good news: My car is clean (for the most part)!!!! Hooray! It only took me three or four weeks to follow through, but I did it!!! Now for the bad news: my assignment two weeks ago was to read a book. Um . . . . I haven't read a page. So, it stays on the list.
This week my meeting with Dr. Josh took an interesting turn. He started by looking at my food journal and asking me how I felt. Lately, I've been feeling pretty darn good: I'm getting up earlier, my skin's looking pretty good. I mean, I still haven't won the lotto or anything but as far as my health goes, I'm feeling A-OK. That is, until he tells me that we're going to work BREAD back into my diet. Wait. . . What? Come again!! I can't. I can't do that. I can't be trusted with it. Addicts can't be trusted to use their drug of choice in moderation, why should I ? I am a carb addict. I don't think I can be trusted with it without turning into Animal from the Muppets. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared.
There have been sad moments in my past where I've eaten an entire loaf of bread in ONE day. ONE. DAY. In fact, my very first diet when I was 16 consisted of only eating bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I lost weight (for about a week) and thought that I had found the secret (Sad, but true). When bread wasn't on my list of acceptable foods it was a lot easier to avoid the aisles b/c it was forbidden and it was against the rules. It will be a lot harder to turn my back on the aisle simply because I CHOOSE not to go down it. I don't want the choice! I don't think I'm strong enough to make the right one!
Dr. Josh picked up on my nervousness and suggested that I try bread for one day and one day only and see what happens. Ok, one day. I think I can handle that. Let's hope so. On the bright side, if I fail, maybe I'll pick up the ability to play the drums like a maniac.
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