Every day is not rainbows and butterflies

  Sometimes I lose sight of what I'm trying to do here.  I'm trying to show my STRUGGLE and my JOURNEY to get back into shape.  I don't want to make it seem effortless like some people (yeah, I'm looking at you Marie Osmond) because it's not.  Every day is not rainbows and butterflies.  Some days are easy and some are frustrating and hard.  Just because I'm starting a journey and attempting to better myself inside and out, doesn't mean I've been granted an umbrella shielding me from of life's rainy days. I am not immune from a bad day. There will be those days where one minute I'm a happy-go-lucky kid in a Letterman's jacket and the next I'm an evil, dancing and singing zombie (If you don't get that and you are over the age of 27, shame on you).

  The other day, I had one of those rainy days. Tears were shed and noses were blown.  Nothing traumatic, just a bad day.  My first instinct was to go straight to the pantry, declare "Pity Party 2010" officially ON, and hang out with my friends: Chips, Cookies and Candy. But, much to my surprise, I didn't reach for anything.  I just stood there.  As quickly as Ms. Hyde made her greedy, glutinous appearance - Dr. JeKAIll (get it?) reappeared to scream PUT THE COOKIES DOWN AND WALK AWAY!!!!


  Walking away wasn't easy.  But how was crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry's going to make anything any better? Instead, I turned to my journal and wrote until my hand hurt then took a hot shower.  Being an emotional eater since the early-90s, it's hard not to feed my feelings. It's been a go-to strategy since the days of Brenda and Dylan (Pre- Dylan and Kelly, Kelly and Brandon, Brandon and Emily, etc)

 When I was four-years-old, and I watched Cookie Monster feed his feelings it was cute and it was funny (Thanks PBS for teaching reading, mathematics, and gluttony by the way).  At 30-blahblahblah years old, using food to cope with just about everything isn't so funny and I'm pretty positive it is not at all cute.  I need to rewire my habits.  I can't rid myself of bad days, but I can adjust how I deal with them.

"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails" - Dolly Parton