Hooah

Week 4
Trainer: Jeramie
Location: Glenwood Rapid Fitness


There is only one way to start this post: ATTENNNN-TION!!!

  After three weeks of training, I thought I was getting the hang of the training thing. Ummm . . . enter Jeramie to prove me wrong.  Jeramie believes in 4 sessions a week and full-body workouts every time.  Hooah*.

The first minute of the first session started out with squats.  After four he stops me and tells me my hip flexors are stiff.  Who is this dude, the Body Whisperer? He could tell after four squats? Thanks to a box of hair dye, there are a few moments every morning that I forget that I am not the young, flexible, smartass cheerleader I once was.  Thanks to Jeramie, I was reminded how my body had betrayed me and dared to get old on me.  I'm not gonna lie, when he told me that I needed to work on my flexibility, I got a little choked up.  My nickname used to be "pretzel".  Flexibility was never a problem for me.  But, the repercussions of late night of movie watching and sedentary living were surfacing once again.

  After about 10 minutes, the whine was in full effect. "My hands hurt. My legs burn. I caaaaann't!" I looked up. No mercy. He looked like he'd never heard anyone whine before. Who's he training? Who doesn't whine during push-ups with weights??  Every time he commanded that I get lower in my squats, lunges, or push-ups I had to fight the urge to shout "Yeeees, Drill Sergeant!!!" in my best Forrest Gump voice.  Hooah

  I couldn't count.  I couldn't spell.  I could only concentrate on not throwing up or passing out.  Tint my sweat red and put some instrumental rock in the background b/c I am officially Gatorade commercial worthy.  I realized that I am fast becoming one of the most annoying types of pests at a gym.  I am becoming the "sound effects girl".  Grunting, crying, whining are all part of my go-to monologue.  Clearly, I have hung my pride on the wall next to my keys, but I can't help it.  Whining is all I can do to keep from dying - or at least that's what it seems like.  I have regressed from being Hilary Banks to Steve Urkel.  "Oww. . . that hurts!" "Did I do that?" 

  Jeramie clearly practices what he preaches.  "Fit" is not quite the word for him.  His muscles have muscles.  His shirt sleeves must wince in pain every morning from being stretched to the limit.  I am working muscles I didn't know I had.  And all in 30 minute sessions.  As much as I want to curse him for the experience, I can't. Because in the days since our sessions: 10 lb. weights don't feel as heavy as they used to, I can do 7 tricep pull downs (without whining), and 2 UNASSISTED pull-ups.

  If you're ever feeling like you're stuck in a fitness rut or you've plateaued or something . . . go see Jeramie.  He will show you exercises that will indeed bring the Urkel out of you.  Hooah.

  I gotta say, after four weeks of training, I am feeling stronger, faster, and more energetic.  I still don't think you can tell really on the outside (I was humbled just this morning by looking at my reflection.  The rolls have not left the building) .  But I definitely am hearing the Six Million Dollar Man sound effect when I run. I am indeed being "rebuilt", one trainer at a time. Hooah.

And now, for your listening pleasure:




*Hooah (pronounced /ˈhuːɑː/) is a U.S. Army battle cry used^[1] by soldiers "Referring to or meaning anything and everything except no."